Example Cards
Every conversation is unique—from small talk to setting a boundary. That's why you need a flexible toolkit, not just one-size-fits-all advice.
See how it works with a sample from each of our four core categories:
• Casual Engagement
• Potential Connections
• Navigating Delicate Issues
• Offering Support
Each card gives you five distinct ways to develop your interpersonal skills, so you can always find the words that feel most authentic to you.
Light, everyday interactions like smalltalk, playful banter, or commenting on shared experiences where the initiator isn’t necessarily expecting a deep response.
Examples: Greeting someone, talking about the weather, discussing weekend plans.
Social Scenario:
You're browsing a bookstore or library and notice someone looking at the same genre. You want to strike up a conversation.
Card Back:
- Confidence: “I couldn’t help but notice you’re looking at a Brandon Sanderson book. You a fan of his work?”
- Authenticity: “I’m trying to branch out from my usual picks… but I always come back to [your genre]. What do you usually get into?”
- Empathy: “Oh, that looks like a great one! I'm always curious, what kind of books/recipes do you usually gravitate towards here?”
- Humor: “Pick any good recipes? I’m debating between comfort food and something that makes me feel like I have my life together.”
- Positivity: “I love that book! You’ve definitely picked a winner. Are you into a lot of this genre?”
- Avoid: “Oh, that one has a weird ending. I don’t know if you’d like it, but you look like someone who might enjoy this book instead," or similar assumptions.
Moments where you or someone else is trying to spark or deepen a connection through questions, compliments, or shared interests.
Examples: Answering “Where are you from?” or discussing common interests in a way that encourages further conversation.
Social Scenario:
Someone asks, “Has your job been keeping you busy?” or similar question regarding recent activities.
Card Back:
- Confidence: “Yeah, but I'm making sure to prioritize some time off to relax. A trip to camp in the mountains is already planned!”
- Authenticity: “Truthfully, it’s been overwhelming lately with the kids on their summer break [or other reason], but I'm riding it out.”
- Empathy: “It’s been pretty hectic, but I know I’m not alone in that. I remember you were trying to make time to see a concert [or other activity]. How'd that turn out? Did you get to go?”
- Humor: “Absolutely swamped! I'm pretty sure my coffee pot and I are in a committed relationship now. But this weekend, its Vegas baby! Cha-Ching!”
- Positivity: “Surprisingly no! In fact been able to make time for cross-fit [or other activity]. It's amazing how much more energized I feel.”
- Avoid: “Yeah, it’s been crazy. How about you?”
Moments where someone needs or is offering encouragement, reassurance, or validation.
Examples: Responding to someone feeling insecure about their appearance or giving words of support in tough situations.
Social Scenario:
Someone is venting to you about a frustrating situation (e.g., work stress, relationship issues).
Card Back:
- Confidence: “I can hear how frustrated you are. What are you going to do about that?”
- Authenticity: “I’ve been through something like this before, and I remember how exhausting and frustrating it felt. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with it too. It’s not easy.”
- Empathy: “I definitely see why you feel that way. What do you need from me right now - advice, or just someone to listen?”
- Humor: “On the bright side, you’re building patience. Against your will, but still.”
- Positivity: “I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds like you’re handling it as well as anyone could, though.”
- Avoid: “Here’s what you should do (or should have done)...” or “It could be worse” or “At least you don't have it as hard as....”
Situations that require tact, like asserting boundaries, handling mistakes, or responding to difficult comments.
Examples: Addressing a misunderstanding, setting limits with someone, or responding to self-deprecating remarks.
Social Scenario:
Someone is venting to you about a frustrating situation (e.g., work stress, relationship issues).
Card Back:
- Confidence: “I really appreciate how enthusiastic you are in our chats, but I’ve realized I need a bit more quiet to stay focused throughout the day. Thanks for understanding.”
- Authenticity: "I'm most productive with some quiet in the morning. I'd love to catch up, but would it be possible to find a better time later to chat?”
- Empathy: “I really enjoy our chats, and I can tell these conversations are important to you. To make sure I can give you my full attention, are you open to catching up at a different time?
- Humor: “Love the convos, but the to-do list has been complaining. Mind if I sneak in some quiet time with it in the mornings? I promise I’ll be all yours once I give it the attention it needs!”
- Positivity: “I could honestly talk to you all day. You’re so engaging! I just focus best in the mornings, so would it be okay if we caught up later in the afternoon instead?”
- Avoid: “Yea, I don't focus well before coffee, so can we get back to what you'd like to talk about later?” or similar dismissive comments or suggestions of inconvenience.
